Someone once said that
gardeners find it difficult to just sit in their gardens and contemplate their
surroundings because they can’t help spotting something that needs to be done,
and they have to go and fix it. Until recently, I was probably a bit like that,
frequently jumping up to pull up a weed or deadhead a flower or move a pot to
catch the sun better.
However, a couple of years
ago I started to notice that I was having to sit down and rest much more while
gardening. It wasn’t entirely a bad thing. I started to spend more time sitting
on the bench at the bottom of the garden just listening to the birds, breathing
deeply and searching the air for the drifting scents of lilac, acacia, cyclamen
or skimmia, or the fig tree after rain.
It has taken a long time to
pin down the source of my fatigue and low mood. I initially thought it was
related to anxiety and grief when my mother got sick and passed away. Doctors
also suggested it might be related to a physical condition I’ve been grappling
with myself. But it gradually started to dawn on me that my mysterious feelings
of tiredness and ‘not being myself’ could actually be related to the menopause.
Full marks to the BBC
for its recent coverage of the menopause. It has clarified a lot for me, and
while I haven’t got a formal diagnosis yet, I’m certain that I am at least peri-menopausal.
I feel empowered and freed by that self-diagnosis.
So how does this relate to
gardening? First of all, I’m afraid to say, I’ve been working in the garden a
lot less than I used to. This is partly related to the fact that we are
planning to move house, so there is no point in introducing new things into the
garden or starting off new projects. But it’s also partly related to the fact
that I don’t have much imagination or desire to do new projects, a condition I have
attributed to the menopause, as it’s not like me at all!
On the other hand, I’m
fortunate that a lot of earlier projects are now coming to fruition, and so my
contemplative sessions seated on the garden bench are full of wonder and
fascination (and yes, a bit of pride, too), while also being a time for rejuvenation.
Most of all, the garden is a
restful place to be. When I’m feeling tired or my mood is low, or I have a
mental block (something that isn’t solely attributable to the menopause!), I
can go out with a cup of tea, realign my thoughts and replenish low energy. Just
being among plants and trees and looking at greenery is known to be
rejuvenating, as recent interest in the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku (or ‘forest bathing’) has
reminded us. Sitting and watching the birds, as they feed from the feeders or
hop around the climbing plants and woodpiles looking for insects, is also an immensely distracting
and restful activity, while birdsong lifts the spirits like nothing else.
Introducing the climbing plants that the birds love so much has itself been a successful project. It’s difficult to
predict the success of a plant when you introduce it, and climbers may
take a couple of years to establish themselves, while often looking quite leggy
at the start as they strive to reach out as far as they can. But after a couple
of years, our fences are covered with a mass of foliage, with evergreen
clematis, honeysuckle, jasmine and large- and small-leaved ivy. Other projects include the
rockery and the ‘stumpery’,
both of which started off with a scattering of plants with large spaces between
them, but have now filled out quite a lot and look well established and a little
wild – exactly the look I was going for. They are also quite low maintenance,
as the ground-covering plants suppress the weeds – perfect if you’re not
feeling so energetic!
Experts advise women going
through the menopause to exercise as much as they can. I walk a lot, and I do
go to the gym and try to run as much as possible, but motivation remains a
challenge on my low days. At those times, the garden still calls out for
attention here and there, drawing me in to activities that offer gentle exercise
at a minimum, and frequently end up being quite energetic – such as hoeing,
weeding, transplanting and moving pots around!
I like to think of the ‘menopause’
simply as a ‘pause’ – it’s a time for reflection and a time to think about the
next phase of life. (The Japanese apparently call it the ‘second Spring’.) As
the BBC coverage reminded us, women going through the menopause are often at the top of
their game. They are suddenly faced with a fundamental change in their
sense of well-being, while – in many cases – not only caring for growing families
and elderly parents, but also managing demanding and responsible jobs.
We all experience the
menopause differently, but we can all see it as a time to pause and reflect.
The nature around us (in the garden or elsewhere) can help us to do that and to
think deeply about what is most important in our lives and where we see the
next phase taking us.
